i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
