D3 body, D1 cock
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
