There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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