Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
