I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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