So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
