I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
