I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Found the puke drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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