Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
