the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
