i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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