Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize