I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
