fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
