so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
