tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
