I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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