Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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