the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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