Don't you send me to vm
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
