He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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