I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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