I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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