I bet he comes in French.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
