So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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