i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
