I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
