Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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