at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
