hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
