I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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