You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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