I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
