You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
