Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
