How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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