my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Houston, we have a squirter
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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