come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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