can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
