It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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