I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
