It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize