Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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