I wish my penis had an off switch
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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