I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
