Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
