Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
