i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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