love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
