i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
