Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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