id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
